This is for those of you who asked for a copy: (author unknown, but fabulous!)

  To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door – nose height.            


  Dear Dogs and Cats:                                          


  The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other 

  dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in 

  the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming   

  your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the     



  The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating  

  me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I   

  fall faster than you can run.                                            


  I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about

  this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your  

  comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It

  is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to   

  the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out

  and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing

  but sarcasm.                                                             


  For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by   

  some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not 

  necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw 

  under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the    

  same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years —   

  canine or feline attendance is not required.                              


  The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I

  cannot stress this enough!              

Kelly demonstrates her favorite relaxing pose!

Kelly demonstrates her favorite relaxing pose!

We are pet care providers and love all animals. Been in business 12 years.

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